I said, hi, then went out the house's back door, and finished my coffee while I smoked. I went back in, avoided making eye contact and then pretended like I am busy unpacking and packing at the same time. Rationalizing.
I didn't know it was her. I thought she was just one of the folks from the country who were there for the annual reunion. My aunts, uncles and cousins had already been at home waiting for me to arrive from Manila, so we could all go to Gensan (the designated place for the annual reunion) together. So, when my father said those words from behind me, I thought she was a relative. But there was something about my sisters' silence and my father's awkwardness that told me she was not. I didn't want to deal with it just yet, so I acted like I was fine with it to my sisters', father's and Isme's shock.
How do you deal with that, anyway?
During the whole 9-hour trip to Gensan, I never spoke a word with her. I didn't invite her to have lunch with us when the truck made a stop for it. I avoided her. I avoided her like I avoid people coming up to me and crying about a heart break. I had no idea what do with her. It was a strange thing to see father with a different woman besides my mother. Thankfully, he is not the type that publicly displays affection, so I am spared puking or pissing my pants. I stayed away from both her and my father at the gathering. I made sure I was alcohol-happy the entire two days and busied myself with taking pictures and getting to know my cousins' kids, even when kids annoy me.
But the partying ended and we had to go back home. That means, she and I would be on the same truck again. What's worse, we were taking a different route, meaning 16 hours of travel back to my city. So, I slept and acted wasted the whole time.
Isme is nice. She is my father's age and has three kids. Her husband had died a few months before my mother. Based on the few occasions I saw her, she seems to be someone I could easily make friends with. It was very difficult to make sense of the denial I was feeling when, to be honest, she seemed to be a perfect second wife for father. I badly wanted to find a good reason to sulk over it and I couldn't except for the irrational feeling of strangeness.
I knew it. When mother passed away, even when I thought I could pass out any moment due to the overwhelming sense of loss, one of the first things that came to mind was father leaving us for another woman. I was right. Father's not even sixty and he had a successful marriage. His decision should not have been a surprise.
So, I did what probably was the most selfless thing I have ever done in my life so far. I talked to my sisters and campaigned for understanding for my father. His decision was more difficult for them to accept, considering that their idea about love is one from romance novels and movies, enduring death and never replaced. I told them how it is better to get to know Isme, and from my first impression of her, she seems to be a nice person. I merely got crumpled foreheads as a response from them. I went on, "Father misses mother so badly, he cried almost every night for months. He misses somebody taking care of him, waiting for him when he gets home from work no matter how late. And other things only a wife can do, and Isme, however far she is from our mother (and would be downright wrong to compare), might just be the right person for him." I was beginning to think that the conversation was never going to be going anywhere until one of them said, who the hell is Isme?
So, there. I did not hear what father said when he introduced the woman to me. He did not say Isme, he said text mate. And my sisters told me that he no longer considers her a girlfriend but his wife.
I didn't know it was her. I thought she was just one of the folks from the country who were there for the annual reunion. My aunts, uncles and cousins had already been at home waiting for me to arrive from Manila, so we could all go to Gensan (the designated place for the annual reunion) together. So, when my father said those words from behind me, I thought she was a relative. But there was something about my sisters' silence and my father's awkwardness that told me she was not. I didn't want to deal with it just yet, so I acted like I was fine with it to my sisters', father's and Isme's shock.
How do you deal with that, anyway?
During the whole 9-hour trip to Gensan, I never spoke a word with her. I didn't invite her to have lunch with us when the truck made a stop for it. I avoided her. I avoided her like I avoid people coming up to me and crying about a heart break. I had no idea what do with her. It was a strange thing to see father with a different woman besides my mother. Thankfully, he is not the type that publicly displays affection, so I am spared puking or pissing my pants. I stayed away from both her and my father at the gathering. I made sure I was alcohol-happy the entire two days and busied myself with taking pictures and getting to know my cousins' kids, even when kids annoy me.
But the partying ended and we had to go back home. That means, she and I would be on the same truck again. What's worse, we were taking a different route, meaning 16 hours of travel back to my city. So, I slept and acted wasted the whole time.
Isme is nice. She is my father's age and has three kids. Her husband had died a few months before my mother. Based on the few occasions I saw her, she seems to be someone I could easily make friends with. It was very difficult to make sense of the denial I was feeling when, to be honest, she seemed to be a perfect second wife for father. I badly wanted to find a good reason to sulk over it and I couldn't except for the irrational feeling of strangeness.
I knew it. When mother passed away, even when I thought I could pass out any moment due to the overwhelming sense of loss, one of the first things that came to mind was father leaving us for another woman. I was right. Father's not even sixty and he had a successful marriage. His decision should not have been a surprise.
So, I did what probably was the most selfless thing I have ever done in my life so far. I talked to my sisters and campaigned for understanding for my father. His decision was more difficult for them to accept, considering that their idea about love is one from romance novels and movies, enduring death and never replaced. I told them how it is better to get to know Isme, and from my first impression of her, she seems to be a nice person. I merely got crumpled foreheads as a response from them. I went on, "Father misses mother so badly, he cried almost every night for months. He misses somebody taking care of him, waiting for him when he gets home from work no matter how late. And other things only a wife can do, and Isme, however far she is from our mother (and would be downright wrong to compare), might just be the right person for him." I was beginning to think that the conversation was never going to be going anywhere until one of them said, who the hell is Isme?
So, there. I did not hear what father said when he introduced the woman to me. He did not say Isme, he said text mate. And my sisters told me that he no longer considers her a girlfriend but his wife.
Touché!
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