Muddy Piece of Meat and Weddings

Weddings.
My earliest recollection of them is learning how to walk down the aisle carrying rings on a heart-shaped pillow. I was the ring bearer, and I had to wear a ridiculous pair of pants and an even funnier shirt.

But the most interesting one did not happen until many years later. It was held in a remote town, at my grandparents' place. A cousin was getting married, and since I was the only one with a camera, I became the unofficial photographer. I took the pictures as the couple got on a big truck at the front seat, while the guests huddled together at the cargo area, laughing and getting ready for a bumpy ride. Then, I took more at the church and then at lunch, where everyone from the village (invited or not) swarmed for a free meal.



Lunch was a riot. It was such a riot that a big chunk of grilled meat dropped to the ground because of the impatient crowd. They tried to save it from the mud, though a few seconds late. But there is nothing a clean bowl of water can't fix, especially if a piece of juicy grilled meat is involved. It was a mess, but it was fun to watch.


People complained how greasy the food was, which was done on purpose, so they would think twice about getting another serving. The festivities continued till dinner time at my grandparents' house. Fewer uninvited guests were expected, but some still came. It was strange that we had to account for them, but this was how it was done there. If you don't want the entire village to talk about how your wedding sucked, you had better have a meal for everyone. There was dancing and alcohol was overflowing. I could not possibly count how many times I had to throw up only to drink some more. I was old enough to be quite sure that everyone was happy. I thought if weddings were that fun, we should have more of them.

My aunts as dishawashers

Over the years, that perception of weddings slowly changed. The other ones I got invited to seemed so different. They were more organized, and the brides wore more beautiful dresses. The ride to church was not bumpy. There were interesting trinkets for souvenirs, and guests were required to dress up. That is not to mention the invitations that guests had to bring with them to the reception for without it, they won't be allowed inside.

However, the joy that I was looking for was overwhelmed by stress. It makes me wonder sometimes how the bride and groom could last the day. If the ceremony is scheduled at 4 p.m,, the couple needs to start getting ready by 8 in the morning. Even then, they would barely make it on time. And when finally they get to the church, relatives and coordinators run around after noticing they forgot the ring or the corsages for the sponsors.

Dancing with grams and the bride.

The reception is another story. I could almost feel everyone's frustration over the very late dinner. The guests almost have the obvious look of wanting to dart out of the place once dinner's done. Of course, the gathering's timed, and should not go beyond what the place has been booked for. It's a mess and there's nothing fun about it.

The trite that is injected into this sacred sacrament does not help and has made it almost unbearable to witness. During preparation, the bride's expected to pretend not to know there is a camera that's taking a picture of her every movement. At church, I would give my two legs if at least ten percent of the people attending would remember the homily. In fact, I would not be surprised if the couple only remembers how they said "I do". At reception, the hackneyed slicing of the cake, the toast, the bouquet toss, the speeches etc. would have been all fine if at least half of the ones there were paying attention. It's depressing and makes me want to swear off weddings altogether.

Being a part of the photo team at least twice, I have been told to make sure to capture "moments" during the entire day. How great it would have been if the photographs were merely slices of the overflowing love and happiness of everyone involved. Unfortunately, the pictures I took, if not staged, were trickles of what should have been abundant. I realized that what gets me tired of the shoot is the hunt for worthy moments.

It might not be a good idea to have riots at weddings, where people scramble for food and slices of meat get dropped. But what should not be missing is the joy of witnessing two people committed to spending their lives together. And that should outweigh the stress of any wedding day.