I Am No Mountaineer

I am no mountaineer. I am merely somebody who climbs mountains when I am not lazy enough to pack. I am just somebody who gets excited when invited to go camping at some peak with friends. I never think I am a mountaineer even when I climb two mountains in a day just for the sheer fun of doing it. There is just something about climbing mountains that makes me feel rejuvenated. You may accuse me of riding contradictions for I do not hide the agony of surviving steep ascents but still claim it gives me rest. There is something about mountains that calm my nerves and muscles, that give me peace. But again, I am not a mountaineer, so do not call me one.



How could I be? Mountaineers do not have their pictures taken at the peak to show off for their friends on Instagram or facebook. I, on the other hand, would think it an incomplete venture if I go home without a picture to post. Though my photos are not always of myself, I take tons of them when I am up there. In fact, I take tons of them when I am anywhere outside town. Real mountaineers climb for the pleasure of climbing and communing with nature. They abhor the lot who go there just for the fad and for Twitter. Mountaineers are elites who see beyond the superficiality of facebook posts. They are too deep for all that. They are philosophers and erudites who might even be able to help me with my lack of spirituality.

I could not possibly be called one.

Mountaineers are experts at the real interpretation of the overwhelmingly deep adage that goes, "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but..." I forget. I am sure that if you are a mountaineer you know the next words, but I do not. I would need the Internet's help to type all of them, but a real mountaineer can recite the line even when his mouth is full of organic papaya, even in the midst of a full blast concert. He would be able to tell you the mountaineering philosophy without blinking. I, on the other hand, am a twat. I can only imagine it must be some grand statement that should guide me when I climb. I have my own words to live by. These are words I adhere to even when I am not up there: Do not litter. Do not be stupid. Love your home. Respect life.

How could I  be one?

There is exclusivity in this group of people who call themselves mountaineers. Many would want in, but mountaineers want to remain a minority. Not the kind that's powerless but the kind that's special. They have skills that allow them to survive in the forest for, maybe, a thousand years even without food. They care for the environment and people in far-flung villages that do not have access to technology. They even bring education to people whom the government repeatedly fails. They are more heroic than any hero you can think of. Selfless, talented and bold these ones are. I would be a stain on their heroism should I be called one of them. I don't do shit for others and I will die in an hour without food in the jungle. Heck, I get dehydrated even when I am at home where there is enough water for a hundred men!

So, please spare me the embarrassment and don't call me one. I merely climb mountains because it gives me pleasure. I climb mountains because it brings me closer to home, reminding me so much of my childhood. I climb mountains because it keeps me going for another month in a city that demands so much. I have no desire to be called one, either. The mention of the word effaces any other kind of identity. When referred to me, the word drowns me in a new personality that entails responsibility that I do not necessarily agree with. It feels like being called a hero when I am just a guy with a name, who goes for the summit to breathe fresh air, watch the sunrise and take pictures for my friends on facebook.

If, however, you call me one just for the word's denotation, then that's fine.