So we almost got stuck in the elevator. It stopped, went down a bit, and then back up. We waited a good half a minute before the door finally opened and let us out. Before it did, the guy behind muttered, loudly enough for us- the last two to enter- to hear, "There are too many people. That's why!", almost telling us it was our fault.
In an alternate universe, I would beat the guy's nose bloody, because there, I would be taller.
In another universe, I'd probably hire him to get instant explanation for whatever. He does not look like somebody brighter than Johny Bravo but he was there when an explanation was most needed. And how I would trade an entire galaxy just to know why things are.
For instance, why do our building guards like to stand in the narrow entrance when they already have a spot where they could inspect people's bags? Or, why the same guards ignore Filipinos entering the building but would be all smiles to whites, even greeting them good morning?
I feel, though, that this would probably not interest the man in the elevator. I think he likes something that requires more mental calisthenics, like, what is the essence of life, how to be happy, and why metaphors being trifled with can give birth to love!
In that case, I would like to bring him to our company meetings. I would like him to tell me why it should be asked what is the relation between a performance appraisal and an evaluation. He would probably ignore the obvious, get something deeper into the subject and still give an awesome discussion on how these are as interrelated as boxing and the Philippines.
Or, if he wants more challenge, I could ask him to talk to Globe over the phone. He might be able to explain why Globe's representative would not speak with me all because I told them my real name when they asked. That is in spite of the explanation I gave them about how I had direct approval and had documentations (the details of which, like account number, etc, they could ask me for verification) to prove it. I told the woman on the phone, "Ok, in that case, I would call back and I would pretend I was my company's authorized representative". So I did, I called back and told her I was E.S. I completed my business with them in just 5 minutes, and I had my new iPhone 4s with me in 2 days. The elevator guy would probably tell me, "That's because you said you were the representative." Sleek!
In this universe, sadly, this guy is just the guy who makes irrelevant comments and I need to be considerate. He could be just in a hurry or, worse, he could be right! The elevator's capacity is up to 15 people and there were 8 of us. I must have missed something in my Physics classes that could show how we could be heavy enough to make the lift go berserk. Or, simply, all 8 of us could have had 5 bowls of potatoes for lunch, doubling our normal weight. I have heard of stories of how one's weight could actually jam doors, and I think that this is one of those moments.
So, instead of beating his nose bloody, I stopped when a clear bruise could already be expected on his forehead...in another alternate universe.
