But they are not married! They could have three kids but the fact is that their being together is illicit!, she exclaims.
I can almost hear desperation in her voice. It feels like whatever comes out of her mouth only means to say, Agree with me.
Then she tells me how it all started.
She had to ask him to fill in as their driver for a day...there was the conversation about his and her life...then some drinks...a hickey...her fury over his lack of self-control...things got muddled up and now, she thinks she loves him.
But life is never a simple story to tell. Saying, "a relationship" isn't really just a relationship. Concepts like that are always composite of so many things. So many that in the end you realize this word is something that will never be able to exclusively tell what you would like the other to understand.
He is not married but he has a family. The eldest of his three kids is 9. A few years back, she would not have even considered this kind of man. But now, she is looking for a justification for the feeling she has for him. She wants him, but she could not bear the thought of being the reason for the breakage of this man's family.
I tell her, at least here is something that is not about why we don't include VAT in this or that invoice. She has to pee, and I have to smoke.
She could be looking for somebody to spend her whole life with. At her age, I would not be surprised if she considers that a priority. Her daughter is not getting any younger, and undeniably, it is difficult to bank on the hope that Antonia will forever stay with her. Kids grow and have their own lives. Parents (the real ones) really just guide and prepare children for whatever path they choose. Parents do not raise kids as some sort of insurance policy, or an investment. At least, that's how I understand parents to be.
But this man is lame!
He is right about telling her that he might feel small when he meets with us, her friends. Not because of what he does (he is a cab driver) but because he does not have enough backbone to fix his life. For ten years, he endures an abusive relationship with his wife (she throws stuff at him in front of his visitors on his birthday), making his kids an excuse for the torture.
But what the heck, it took me two years to finally see the stupidity of commuting at least 20 hours a week to get to work. The money I waste on this tiring commute had always been ignored by well-thought out rationalizations. All that because I was too lazy to find a house near the office!
Oh well, this guy could really be great for her.
Well, if you really think he is fine, then go ahead. I don't know if I could give you the approbation you need now, but I am really just going by a popular moral formula that makes me believe this is wrong. This is wrong because the moment you push for this can leave his kids fatherless, and his wife without a husband. Wrong because you would be involved in a situation that could affect your job, considering that the wife knows where you work, and has planned on seeing you there. On the other hand, you would probably be giving this guy another chance in life. You also said, you loved him and they are not really married.
Whatever the case is, I have found a new place. I am moving in next week.
